Vegans, we can all commiserate. When you first make the change to a plant-based diet you feel like you may never again gorge yourself on jalapeno poppers, milkshakes and mozza sticks. And of course there is every non-vegan person who you know who says “damn, how will you ever live without cheese/butter/eggs/whatever other product that oozed from an animal’s hindquarters”, not making you feel any better about having made the less easy but more ethical choice.
Fear not. You can have your fat and eat it too! I laugh at the common misconception that everything vegan must be healthy. We too can eat like complete and total shit and feast on fatty deliciousness every now and then. What follows is a sample of some of the treats that can be veganized, but haven’t been made very much healthier… and that’s not bad at all.
|I wanna stuff them all in my mouth at once!|
Everybody loves a big ole plate of nachos! With the fabulous innovation of so many delicious vegan cheeses, there is no reason why you can’t have delicious, flavourful, fat-tastic vegan nachos. And of course there is no secret recipe for these, you just use whatever toppings float your boat. For example, these nachos I made are topped with lovely Daiya mozza, black beans, peppers of several colours, jalapeno and tomato. Other good toppings include olives and TVP which has been cooked with taco seasoning spices. Serve with your favorite chunky salsa, or if you really want to amp up the fatty-good, some homemade guacamole or faux sour cream.
FRIED CHICKEN (SEITAN)!
|Don't be distracted by the healthy sides! Eat the bad stuff!|
This is one of my favorite recipes, but it’s also one that is really not all that super good for you. But who cares?! It’s cruelty-free fried chicken (stuff it in your gullet, Colonel Sanders)! The recipe for the seitan, cooking broth, and breading can be found in Sarah Kramer’s La Dolce Vegan cookbook (which is a good one, I recommend it!). What comes out of this recipe is a beautifully flavoured, tender, yet crisp culinary delight. Not the fastest recipe in the world for a weeknight, but I love this on a Saturday night when you’re just going to stay in and sit around.
|Oh my glob.|
Yes, my friends, cheesecake. The ultimate decadence. It can be all yours! There are so many vegan cheesecake recipes out there, many of which call for ingredients which are quite expensive, such as vegan cream cheese, or coconut oil. I love this particular cheesecake recipe from VegWeb because it is not only made with affordable ingredients (cashews and silken tofu), but it is also really delicious. And I know that a tofu cheesecake sounds scary, but trust me when I tell you that this is one case where you really can’t tell that tofu is the main ingredient. There is so much sugar in this puppy, you aren’t gonna taste it at all! I love topping it off with a can of beautiful artificial-looking pie filling, and maybe a splotch of rice or soy spray can whip cream.
|I'd like some taquitos.|
I love this taquitos recipe from the always amazing Snarky Chickpea because it is so much better than all of the frozen, store-bought vegan taquitos. It is also better than the meat-laden ones you used to buy at 7-11! These taquitos are stuffed with yummy vegan cheese, cream cheese, rice, beans and veg. They are savory indulgence at its best. If you want to make these even more super raunchy bad for you, do as recommended in the recipe and try them with faux chicken pieces instead of beans. They are practically a heart attack on a plate, so damn good. Excellent with guacamole too (because we still needed more fat!)
|Why wait for it to cool? Just eat it!|
Last but not least we have the cardinal culinary offering of the take out menu and favorite of college students everywhere, pizza. A vegan pizza doesn’t need to be cheese-free and topped with zucchini, you can make it super hearty and mega bad for you with ease! This is another one of those recipes that is not really a recipe. I make a crust in my breadmaker, then top the pizza with vegan cheese, some Tofurky sausage (or Yves pepperoni or salami… or all of the above), and then pick the veggies of your choice. Stuff the whole molten mess in your mouth and cackle with delight.
And of course, there are many more fatty vegan delights out there. Feel free to share your favorite!
Vegan mofo continues its path of fantastical food finds! Stay tuned…