Hallelujah!!! |
But because it's no fun to start you off with pictures of tofu and salads, we're going to start with the cream of the crap. I'm talking about VEGAN GARBAGE FOOD. Prepackaged nomnoms that you can pack in your lunch which might be vegan, but they sure as hell aren't healthy. We will talk about actual, realistic, healthy lunches later, but in the meantime we are due for a trip to the snack factory.
In no particular order, here they are!
Delicious, crunchy, teeth-blackening Oreos. So fugging good, and massively addictive. These are the reason why I so rarely make homemade cookies. Stick two (or ten) in your lunchbag and you'll be fighting off the urge to pop out for sweets while you slog through a clogged inbox.
Hunts Lemon Meringue Pie Snack Packs are surprisingly dairy-free. Which is super rare in the prepackaged pudding world. While I can't really say that these taste like a lemon meringue pie, I can tell you that they taste like a SUGAR COMA and I love them. Keep your eyes peeled and you can find them on sale for $1 on rare occasions. And then you stock up and have no room in the cupboard for actual food. Cause that's life.
Also in the category of rarely vegan items we have Dortitos Sweet Chili Heat. These are the only vegan Doritos in the universe of Frito-Lay orange-powdered snacks. And they are completely scruptious. These will fix your craving for a salty snack, and will also decorate your desk/blouse/pants with nuclear orange powder for an exciting fashion statement which says "I simply could not help myself".
Divine.
Corn syrup. Er, I mean, Twizzlers! Which are pretty much 100% corn syrup, AKA the apparent devil. Eat them anyway.
And for the frugal among us, Airheads! These corn-syrupy bad boys are only about 40 cents a piece, and make for the perfect little wind-me-up when you are having a massive processed sugar craving. Which happens to the best of us. Don't beat yourself up about it. Go have an Airhead. I won't judge.
And of course there are more. What are your favorite terrible vegan snacks? Leave a comment and clue us all in on the great sugary/salty noms we could be stuffing in our faces at our desks! :)
Okay, it's pretty hilarious to me that a pudding with "meringue" in the name contains neither eggs nor milk. But I'll take it!
ReplyDeleteI know, considering the rest of their puddings are really not vegan at all this one surprised me. Apparently their "gels" are vegan too?
DeleteWhat?! That's super crazy. No gelatin? The look on people's faces when they realize what they are eating when they eat Jell-O...
DeleteLeft to my own devices I could probably eat the entire bag of Dortitos Sweet Chili Heat. I don't often buy them, but its nice to know they are vegan in a pinch. Btw, I love that lunch box! Where can I get one?
ReplyDeleteThat is a Planetbox! I love them because they make me chop up veggies and fruit rather than just packing a whack of junk (which I don't do often, contrary to the post...)
DeleteCheck them out here: http://planetbox.com/
Where to buy rainbow nerds online?
ReplyDeleteBest nerd ropes near me.
Best nerd rope edibles online.